I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
