Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
