Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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