I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
