3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
