I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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