college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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