he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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