she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
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So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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