it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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