so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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