somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
