found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
try to milk me bitch
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
