; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The struggles of a small town man whore
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
