I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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