Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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