i think i have two assholes
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
