shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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