put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
