Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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