3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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