Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
