You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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