grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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