I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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