ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
