Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
