I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
