So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
