I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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