you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
