i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
