It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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