This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
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In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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