Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
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the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
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Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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