i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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