you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
