I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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