A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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