i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
