All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
