How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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