A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
only you would photoshop your dick
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
