Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
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