Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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