I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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