My boss' voice literally gives me gas
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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