I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
