if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize