are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize