He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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