my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
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There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
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I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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