i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
