I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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