I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
