I hate all girls vehemently.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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