Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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