As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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