Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
