Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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