found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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