we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
