i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
