i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
