$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You have to summon your inner elephant
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
