My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
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