I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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