I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
