you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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